Tuesday, April 13, 2010

teaSer tueSday

about this time last week, i was in the middle of a feverish two days devoted almost entirely to revisions. now, i'm embarking on a two day BREAK from those revisions. sometimes, when it's getting ugly, you just have to walk away for a little bit. (at least, that works for me.)

anyway, i know it's getting late for you east coast writers/readers, but i hope you have time to read one more tease!

this is the very rough opening page of BILLY D. & THE BULLY. as with the last teaser from this story, there is an ugly "R" word.

I had a foot on some kid’s throat and a hand in my pocket, searching for gum, the first time I saw Billy D. He was standing across the street, staring – not even trying to be sly about it, just staring out from under those huge lids that somehow made his eyes look slanted and round at the same time.

“What are you lookin’ at?”

His mouth fell open in a silent little ‘o,’ but he didn’t respond. He didn’t leave either, just kept on staring.

Something gurgled inside the throat under my foot. I glanced down. The kid looked like he might be struggling to breath, but his face wasn’t red or anything yet, so I turned my attention back across the street.

“Get out of here! Or you’re next!”

That was kind of an empty threat. Even from across the street, I could tell by the kid’s vacant expression, that slack jaw and the strange way he hunched his shoulders, that he was challenged, probably flat out retarded, and I didn’t pick on retards.

Standards, y’know?

“Hey, you deaf or something? I said GET LOST!”

He hesitated, shuffling a step first to the left, then to the right. He looked once more at me and at the boy under my boot, then he moved his gaze to the sidewalk and stomped away.



Sage said...

Wow, this snippet starts off intense, and doesn't disappoint to the end. Interesting to be in the bully's POV

Gem said...

Love this, very good. Pulls you straight into the story without a big info dump. Great pacing as well - would have to read on!

erinjade said...

thanks ladies!

Emmychka said...

So being the naive girl I am, I was sitting here thinking, "R-word. R-word? What is the R-word? Ohmigosh I truly have been out of touch." Five minutes no less I sat there like that.

What an interesting perspective and what a way to start off the story. *MORE the crowd screams* But I digress...

Looks like your hard work is paying off.

erinjade said...

thanks emmychka!

Glen Akin said...

Damn, the perfect mind of a bully. Harsh, unforgiving and flat out diabolical. Lovely teaser

erinjade said...

thanks Glen! and thanks for following!