the importance of distance

when i hear writers talk about discipline, the advice is usually some form of "BIC" (Butt in Chair): sit down and write, even when you'd rather watch TV or play outside. force yourself to write.

this is excellent advice IN GENERAL. (i think i've already both applauded and criticized the BIC method in this blog.)
but i've realized over the past month that sometimes discipline is forcing yourself to NOT write.
when i got my incredible first beta notes on BILLY D., i was eager to jump right in and start fixing things. that's how i did it with BUTTER - got right to work, and it turned out well - so that's how i should do it this time, right? well, the same method doesn't always yield the same results.

after tearing apart BD's plot (working every day, morning and night, for weeks), i grew so frustrated, i nearly considered trunking it. i was unable to let go of passages i loved, so i squished them into new scenes where they didn't belong. i shoved my characters into situations and conversations they wouldn't naturally be in, so their voices didn't ring true. basically, i was making the book worse, because i was trying to force the manuscript into shape under some crazy self-imposed deadline instead of slowing down to let the first draft speak to me.

finally, after weeks of stress, Handsome said to me: "I think you need to get off books for a few days."
just like that. like books/writing are a drug you can overdose on.

well, Handsome is very wise, so i followed his advice. i took a whole week to clean the house, catch up on TIVO, chat on twitter - anything but touch my writing files.

when i did return to writing, i still felt a knot in my stomach about BD, so i worked on SOMETHING ELSE. i fleshed out the outline for GRIM, wrote a couple scenes and let myself feel the freedom of first-drafting.

once the wheels were spinning, i returned to BD, and surprise! it didn't seem nearly so daunting. over the next 48 hours, i deleted like crazy and churned out about 5,000 new words. that got me to a point in the manuscript where i know what needs to be added and which upcoming scenes need to go. i'm back in the groove, because i forced myself to walk away and come back later with a fresh perspective.

so, yes, "Butt in Chair" is good advice.
but so is getting your butt OUT of the chair and walking around in the real world for a little while to clear your mind.

the computer ate my chapter!

...and other blessings in disguise.

the first novel i ever tried to write died a horrible death. it caught a nasty incurable virus and when it finally went into the light, even the best computer doctors could not revive it.
this was ten years ago, and the pain of that loss was so raw, i did not write again for years.

i am being completely serious now.
i allowed a manuscript-eating computer virus to put me off writing... for years. even when someone very close to me - an angel really - produced the first ten thousand words or so from his own email archives, bless him, i could not be persuaded to pick up the story again. how could i possibly remember what the NEXT ten thousand words were? and i couldn't even fathom letting those words go and starting the story again from the middle. i was so stubborn.

but i took the ten thousand words from this angel, and put them in a folder at the back of my file box with a neat little tab labeled: Sammy Vegas. for almost a decade, every time i opened that box to file a utility bill or check a bank statement, the words "Sammy Vegas" would play peek-a-boo with me from the dark rear of the box... taunting me, reminding me that once upon a time i wanted to be a writer.

when i finally started writing again, the "Sammy Vegas" file got moved to a new filing cabinet - one filled with nothing but manuscripts, story ideas and publishing information. now, when i see the "Sammy Vegas" tab, i don't see a painful loss but a story that will someday be brought back to life. SV would have been the wrong first book for me. and maybe i needed to live a little more before i started writing for real. i truly think losing that MS was meant to be, so that all the stars could align for me to write a book some 8 or 9 years later that would actually be good enough to publish.

i tried to remember the SV tale this week when technology let me down once again.
this time, it wasn't a computer virus but a malfunctioning android application that ate my words. (oh, how time has marched on!)
my trusty little cell phone voice recorder app crashed and burned - taking with it an entire chapter of my NaNo project. in the sheer panic of losing those words, i forgot every single one of them, even thought i had dictated them into the voice recorder only that morning. Handsome and i made a few feeble efforts to recover the audio files, but they were lost. i wanted to crawl into bed and forget the whole manuscript.
but NaNo waits for no drama, so i knew i had to suck it up and write something new.

and you know what? the new scene is better. once it was all written, my thoughts cleared, and i could remember the initial scene, and it wasn't half as good as its replacement. losing that first chapter was probably the best thing that's happened to me since i started NaNo.
(but, um, Karma? if you're listening? that doesn't mean i want to lose any more chapters, okay? i AM on a deadline, here.)

i just wanted to share those stories for anyone who has hit a setback in their writing, whether it's:
- a computer virus
- a lost notebook
- an accidental 'delete'
- an identical scene in someone else's book that forces you to press 'delete'
- or just about any other uncontrollable factor that erases so much of your hard work.

words get lost.
but sometimes it's a blessing in disguise.
fortunately, we know where the words come from, and we can always make more.

what else ya got?

if you are serious about writing, this is a question you will (hopefully) be asked over and over and over again.

in so many words, it was one of the first questions my agent asked me.
and it's a question you WANT to be asked... because if people don't like your writing, they won't be asking to see more.
you want agents, editors and especially readers to always being asking:
"what else ya got?"

in fact, if you're very lucky, you will get this question so fast and frequent you won't be able to keep up with the demand. (unless you are one of those freaky fast writers who churn out books in a matter of days. man, i hate admire you guys.)

it is possible you have just one great story to tell, one opus that will soar into literary history and make you a household name without ever writing another word. or perhaps you are in it for the money and are just talented and lucky enough to pull it off - that impossible 7-figure debut. if you achieve those goals and feel finished, then by all means retire and enjoy!

but if you're like me, you have way too many voices in your head to write just one. when i go on sub, if editors ask "what else ya got," and i have only empty hands to show them, i won't feel like i'm letting the editors down; i'll feel like i'm letting my characters down. each of them deserves a story. now, whether that story ends up in a trunk or on sub is a very different matter. i love Trapper, Andi, Boston and Tuna, but 'kids, get comfy. you're gonna be in that trunk for a looooong time.'

so now i'm hard at work telling the story of my two new favorite characters and hoping i do them justice... because there's a tiny bit of pressure in that question of what else you have cooking - this itty bitty, unspoken sub-question:
"and is it better?"

if you're learning and growing and pushing yourself as an author, the answer should probably always be, "yes, it's better." but when you're going from working on a revised, polished, finished manuscript to a new rough draft, it's kinda hard to see much that's better.

the point is to keep writing. work on one project at a time if you must (i certainly do), and work it until it's sparkling. you can even take a break afterward. but then push that diamond away (preferably in the direction of an agent or editor) and get back to digging through the dirt for the next rock you can polish into something precious. KEEP WRITING.