Tuesday, March 16, 2010

tEaser tUesday

this week's teaser is a little exercise in dialog.

a lot of YA books are heavy on dialog, so i've been pushing myself to let my characters do the story telling.

this is from an early scene in BILLY D. & THE BULLY, a work in progress that still has a looooong way to go.

WARNING: this snippet contains language that can be offensive on several different levels, especially since this clip is out of context.

“My name’s Billy Drum, but everybody calls me Billy D.”

“I don’t care.”

“Who are you?”

I smirked. “I’m your worst nightmare.”

“You’re not my worst nightmare! My worst nightmare is about a snake and a-“

“I don’t care.”

“My next door neighbor Mark calls you ‘that dick,’ but that’s not your name. I know what a dick is and it’s not a name. In my life skills class, they call it a penis, but I know it’s also called a dick, and it’s definitely not a na-“

“DUDE! I don’t want to talk about dicks with you.”

“What do you want to talk about?”

“I want to –“ I threw up my hands, then paced backward a few steps down the sidewalk and forward again. “I don’t want to talk about anything, Man! Go away!”

Billy was unfazed by my outburst. I picked up pace, and he adjusted his stride to match mine. “Ok, but if you just told me your name, I could tell Mark and he wouldn’t call you ‘that dick’ anymore.”

“That little piss fuck knows my name, and I’m gonna kick his ass later for calling me a dick.”

“Ok, then will you tell me what your name is so I don’t call you dick and get my ass kicked?”

I sighed and covered my face with my hands. “Dane, ok? My name is Dane Washington.”

“Washington like the president?”

“Yeah. Like the president.”

“That’s awesome!”

“If you say so.”

His steps became lighter, almost a skip. “So now I’ll call you Dane, and you won’t kick my ass!”

“I might kick your ass anyway if you don’t shut up.”

“You said you don’t beat up retards.”

“You said you weren’t a retard.”

“I’m not.”

“Ok then.”

“Ok then.”

He fell quiet for a few blissful seconds, then: “Sooo, wait. Does that mean you can still kick my ass?”

I dropped my chin to my chest and closed my eyes. This was going to be the longest walk to school ever.


J.S. Wood said...

Billy is sooo sweet. Is Dane the bully or is he nice - cause I like him.

Becca said...

I actually thought this was cute. (Call me weird, I know.) I may have to try this exercise sometime. :D

Glen Akin said...

lmao! Man, Billy is hilarious! Loved the dialogue play in this teaser. Thanks!

Amanda said...

Well the dialogue is really good so I'd say the exercise was a success! Good job!

Annie McElfresh said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Well Done! I love the voice! You nailed the male MC perfectly.

V said...

Ahaha! This is such a great "annoying conversation." (Meaning: the conversation isn't annoying to me, but I can definitely see how it would be annoying to Dane) Rockin' dialogue.

erinjade said...

thanks everyone!
i like writing for these two. i just wish i could settle on a plot for them. :/

J.S. - Dane is the bully, but i'm glad you liked him, because he's a good guy deep down.