Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Teaser Tuesday

so, i had to use capital letters in that first post so that you'd know i DO, in fact, have 'shift' and 'caps lock' buttons on my laptop. however, my pinky gets tired of reaching all the way over there, so i hope you'll excuse my preferred lower case.

anyway, on to the post!! today is... TEASER TUESDAY!

teaser tuesday is a fun trend i've seen all across the YA blogosphere. (YA, for you non-writerly folks, is young adult.) Lots of YA writers with blogs post snippets of their works every tuesday to give readers an idea of what they write. I've decided to jump on the bandwagon because:
a) i, too, write YA.
b) i don't really have an idea for another post yet.
c) what better way to start a writing blog than to post some writing?

so, without further ado, here is the first page or so from my young adult novel, BUTTER, currently on submission with literary agents:

One stick of butter

Chap 1:

You think I eat a lot now? You ain’t seen nuthin’ yet. Tune in December 31st, when I will stream a live webcast of my last meal. Death row inmates get one. Why shouldn’t I? I can’t take another year in this fat suit, but I can end this year with a bang. If you can stomach it, you’re invited to watch… as I eat myself to death.

Most people would say that web post is where this wild ride began. But for me, it started two days before I posted it, on a Tuesday night in front of the TV in my living room. I was watching the news, because that’s what my mom had on when she got up to make dinner, and she left the remote all the way across the room on the entertainment center, right next to the TV.

Why do people do that – put the remote by the TV? What’s the point?

She probably did it to force me to get up and get some exercise, as if a couple steps across the room would make any difference.

Anyway, there was this story on the news about airlines charging obese people for two airplane seats.

So fucked up.

Look, I get it. It sucks to be next to the fat guy on the plane. Maybe he’s taking up too much of your arm rest or crowding you into the window, but trust me, nobody’s more uncomfortable than that guy, having to squish into that tiny seat and knowing nobody wants to sit next to him. The humiliation is payment enough, let alone a double charge for the seat.

So this chick with one of the airlines was in the story, and she was trying to play it off like it was for the benefit of the big people, like they’d be more comfortable with two seats and it was only fair to charge them. Well I call bullshit on that, lady. I can tell you there’s nothing –including cramming my ass into one of those itty-bitty-lame-ass excuses for an airline seat – nothing worse than being the guy taking up two seats so everyone on the plane sees you and thinks: Oh! So that’s how big you have to be to pay double. No thanks.

So I was thinking all that and getting riled up watching the story, when I looked down and remembered two airline seats were the least of my worries. Right then, I was taking up two cushions on the couch.

...that's it! hope you enjoyed it, but if not, don't worry. i've got more stories where that came from. ;)


Gem said...

So excited to read this as I haven't seen it since last year. Love it. 'Nobody's more uncomfortable than that guy' - fantastic line, builds sympathy fast. Good luck with the new blog - add links to the YA blogroll on AW.

erinjade said...

thanks gem!
heading over to AW to add the link now. :)

SuzanneWrites said...

I'd love to read more. I really like the voice of your MC. I read your query in SYW, and found it already intriguing back then. :)

Tahereh said...

omg this is hilarious!! great work so far -- love the voice, and would totally read on. most protags are perfect. i like the imperfections -- very real.

fingers crossed for your success!!

erinjade said...

oh, you guys are awesome! thank you so much. :) and thanks for visiting my blog!

Nomes said...

hey - I'm really likeing this. You write with so seamlessly with awesome voice - and your premise seems unique :) A very cool opening. You have me hooked. Good luck!